From The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston

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From The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston 

“... She was neat while I was messy, my hair tangled and dusty. My dirty hands broke things. Also I had had the mysterious illness. And there were adventurous people inside my head to whom I talked. With them I was frivolous and violent, orphaned. I was white and had red hair, and I rode a white horse” (457). This quote once again circles back to the theme of feeling dirty or unclean due to feeling self conscious or inadequate. Similar to young Maya Angelou’s feelings in I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Kingston feels ugly, isolated, and misunderstood. These feelings are a result of the “unhomeliness” and “double consciousness” she experiences while trying to live in two completely different worlds. “Sometimes I hated the ghosts for not letting us talk; sometimes I hated the secrecy of China” (455). The “ghosts” are white people, and this quote gives us insight into how torn Kingston feels. 

The reader receives more insight into the troubled mind of Kingston after seeing the treatment she receives from her relatives. She is called a “maggot” by her great-grandfather (458). Her mother constantly verbally abuses her by saying hateful things such as “She has an ugly voice” (458), “Who’d wanna marry you anyway?”(466), “I knew you were going to turn out bad” (466). These greatly impact her worldview in a negative way. Kingston suffers mental illness and perhaps even physical illness due to this trauma. I believe the “adventurous people inside her head” might have been her mind trying to cope with how lonely and lost she must feel. They speak the words she can never say and so desperately wants to scream. In a way, this writing is the physical form of those voices in Kingston’s head, expressing the thoughts hidden deep inside her. I hope this writing helped her realize and overcome some of her childhood trauma, but I fear that these adversities might be a lifelong burden for Kingston.